The Other Names

A lot of people think that the first pioneers of America were the ones who named the Mississippi River. This is untrue. The name Mississippi River is actually older than the Mississippi River itself. It was created by God during the Triassic Period as code for the journey a young triceratops had to go through to become an adult triceratops. When Americans arrived at the river there were giant signs that simply said:

This is the Mississippi River.

-God

So they decided to name the state Mississippi after the river, and it's been a hit ever since.

But there were other names that God proposed, such as these:

• Metaphorical Journey Canal
• Coming-of-age River
• Huckleberry Finn Fjord
• J.D. Salinger Creek (Later this was dismissed since he decided that was phony)
• Mildly Racist But In The Time It Was Okay To Say Those Words River
• Faulkner and Melville Will Also Use This River But It Won't Be As Famous For It Stream
• Kentucky River

But God liked how it sounded when he spelled Mississippi.